Well I’m not relationship expert... but what we are doing is working great (so far haha) and I can share some points that help us, and hopefully help you too.
Here are MY TOP TIPS TO KEEP A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP POST BABY:
1. 💗 All you may crave during your “down time” is getting some rest. So the first thing you need to do is acknowledge that you have to put in the work to sustain the romance, other than just having a partner/roommate.
2. 💗 I know this may disappoint some but having low expectations is a must. And I don’t mean low marriage expectations, but accepting the fact that plans like cuddling in the couch, talking over a meal, of a walk, are okay to count as quality time activities. If you are happy with that, you’ll be happier within the relationship too. Honestly for me, the simple things are now the most appreciated.
3. 💗 Yes, you’ll have to adapt your ways of doing things. But always keep up with your life: we both do exactly the same activities we did pre baby (work, gym, social, travel...) we just do them differently and we understand each other’s needs so we take turns for the gym for example.
4. 💗 So in order to do the above, accept help when needed (from nanny, family of friends) when plans come up where you can’t take the baby. Like the wedding we had to go to.
5. 💗 Have the household rules duties set pre baby. We both have tasks around the house we take care off. And some of mine that he took over when Sofia arrived (like cooking breakfast). Being organized and setting the “rules” makes us not argue and keep the household tidy.
6. 💗 Dates and activities: once a week we make it a MUST to do a family activity that we all can enjoy. The park, the beach, strolling around the city, a nice lunch out, a nice pool... we make memories, and Sofia is way too little so we can still have our own conversations.
7. 💗 Now that Sofia is eating, we all sit down for a meal together at breakfast. We used to work with breakfast but now it’s a time that we spend together.
8. 💗 As much as we love talking about Sofia (and we do often) we also are aware to limit the subject and ask each other about our days, projects, businesses, clients, goals...
9. 💗 We agree on parenting ways 95% of the time, and luckily he trusts my knowledge and research and let’s me choose how we do things 100% of the time. But when he is watching Sofia he does things in ways I wouldn’t. I learned to let go and let him do his thing, I have to also trust his judgement and let him be free, what matters is that he is taking care of her and doing things “the daddy way”.
10. 💗 Create a routine that works for the whole family. So that we both get everything done and Sofia gets her schedule: happier baby.
11. 💗 Make sure you both get your ME TIME. Read how here.