I remember a flood of congratulatory messages the day Sofia was born. Everyone wanted to meet her ASAP, come see us, go for a walk together, go grab coffee, know how we were. And all of the sudden, boom, that stopped. A month into motherhood a majority stopped checking in on us or wanting to make plans to see us.
Why weren't people reaching out to see how things were going a month, two, three into motherhood like they did at first? Sure, it's a drastic, sudden change, your body goes through a major transformation, and they need to send their congrats.
But motherhood can be very lonely, we spend all day with our minis, our live revolves around them, there is no "disconnecting" or time off. We already have to make an effort to find online platforms to connect with moms who are going through the same, we have to make an effort to find new mom friends, we have to make an effort to find new activities to go that both moms & minis can enjoy, we have to make an effort to find self care activities, to keep the house straight, to feed ourselves. We have to make an effort to do it all. But we should NOT need to make an effort to have our old friends check in on us more often.
Come on, friends, check in on your mom friends randomly, just because. Ask us how our day is going. Send positive vibes. Make an effort to see us or call to have a simple conversation past the first few weeks (when we actually just need to rest & get settled not make plans).
If we are too busy to reply, if we had a bad day and don't feel like responding, if we can’t get back in a while, we will still appreciate your text, your check-in, your interest, we will appreciate your message more than you will ever know!