They typically start at 1yo and the frequency can vary in each kid. But it’s important to remember that they are NORMAL & part of their development.
They are simply showing us that they are upset / frustrated before they learn how to communicate those feelings, and the more they learn how, the less tantrums they’ll have.
Here are some things I do to prevent them from happening or, minimizing them.
1. Give her tons of positive attention. Rewarding good behavior often and paying attention to those positive actions “muy bien” even for the simplest things she does. And it makes her proud, happy, and do them again!
2. Have her help me often. I always have Sofia “help” doing the house chores even if that means doing them way slower hah. She gets a sense of control and is proud and pleased.
3. Anything she can’t have I simply keep out of reach. For ex Sofia always wants what I eat or drink so I have to have my coffee or matcha alone, or else she throws tantrums wanting it too. I have health green juices and food next to her and trust me, she wants it too as healthy as it gets. Same with objects. Anything she can’t have is out of sight.
4. Whenever a tantrum happens I simply don’t react to it (keep it cool) and immediately distract her with something totally new. A puppy, food, change environment... whatever is easiest right then. Starting a new activity simply makes her forget about the forbidden one.
5. Choose my battles. Some things are not the end of the world like wanting to wash her hands numerous times a day.
6. Plan activities at the right times. Don’t push nap or bed time, more tantrums WILL happen!
7. Remind myself that it’s normal, she’s frustrated or angry and can’t communicate: my job is to help her to calm down so I need to be calm too.
8. If it’s a tantrum due to a basic need (food, sleep) obviously recognizing those.
9. If she simply wants my attention I ignore it so it doesn’t happen often. I again, move to another activity quick.
10. Finally, I try not to give her what she wanted in the first place simply so she doesn’t learn that that’s how it works to get what she wants.