With social media and the access, we have to seeing other moms highlights and daily accomplishments, it's so easy to compare ourselves, to feel guilty about not doing enough, that we are not enough or that we are doing things wrong.
So, here's your reminder: you are enough. You are THE mom your kids need. You are doing things right.
HOW TO BE AT PEACE WITH THE MOTHER YOU ARE MEANT TO BE AND AVOID GUILT AND COMPARISON?
Remember that as moms, we aren't born knowing it all. We are meant to learn along the way. To explore our motherhood journey and keep changing our ways of thinking and doing. So, comparing journeys is impossible. You keep growing and evolving, and so do other moms. Look at your own journey and how much more you know now, and be proud of that. Allow yourself to progress at your own pace.
Being a mom is being spread too thin. No matter what you do with your days. There's ALWAYS a LOT to do: from home duties, to kid duties, to friends, partners, work, projects, self-care... to the to-do list of constant things that is in your head. There are days where you'll get a lot done with your kids, where you'll be proud of how much time you've spent with them doing fun activities, and days where nothing gets done because you've needed to run errands or to take care of yourself. Comparing your bad days to someone else's good days that are on social media isn't fair. I can guarantee, they also have days that nothing gets done with the kids, they just don't post about them.
Let go of perfectionism. Let go of such high standards. Society wants us to do way too much, it's unrealistic. Who cares if your meals are simple? Who cares if you don't do any art and craft but instead just go for a long walk with the family. Once you let go of that perfectionism and what mothering should look like, you will have much more grace and better mental health and enjoy the mom YOU are meant to be. Not the picture society painted of you.
Remove people in your life that make you feel guilty. Anyone who judges your ways, who makes you feel less of a mother. We have zero time for that! And if it's a family member, set boundaries.
No one has YOUR life. Your opportunities. Your environment. Your help. Don't compare your choices to someone else's. For example, I know moms who are guilty of sending their babies to daycare, but they felt like they had no other option: they needed the second income, they couldn't afford a nanny, they had no family around to help. Ok, this wouldn't be your choice if you had family help, but: YOU ARE DOING THE BEST FOR YOUR FAMILY BASED IN YOUR SITUATION. And let that fuel your fire to spend more quality time together at nights and on weekends. I can guarantee, there also are stay at home moms who would love some daycare hours to do things so they wouldn't feel guilty of doing those around their babies and not being present. There's always something to feel guilty about! Remember that you are doing your best.