To be completely honest, welcoming B has been a very smooth and easy transition for her with zero jealousy. And I am aware that her personality helped tremendously because she is very nurturing & understanding.
Through my pregnancy, I spoke to her about him & I started including him in our family moments: When we played, we thought of where we would be putting him; when we did craft activities I drew / painted the 4 of us; we prepped the house for him; when we went shopping for things for him...
I’ve also made her feel helpful in her role. She gets him the pacifier, brings me water, shushes him or watches him in the back of the car. And i thank her for everything. She keeps saying how she’s a big girl, and I think this is why she hasn’t regressed either, in fact I think she’s grown a lot w him here. She’s proud, and keeps doing more of it.
I am also conscious of my attention so despite having to hold / nurse B all the time, I’m playing and focused on her. And if she needs something, I prioritize her like I prioritize him when he cries.
Something that REALLY helped is that daddy started taking over the night routine in January (6m prior) and thanks to Covid he started doing a lot more playtime too (4m prior). By the time B arrived, daddy was a bigger part of her day, and it wasn’t new to her.
Regarding nursing, I told her that its all he can eat to grow big like her, and that she gets yummy foods. So she’s let him have it, which i was worried since they were hers for 2 years, lol.
Finally, I’m also really careful on how I speak, I call B our baby, not my baby, and just make her feel inclusive in the way I talk.
Anyways, Sofia was truly made for a big sister role. Her personality is really similar to mine, and I was never jealous of my brother either, who is also 2.5 years younger than me. So again, don’t take this personally or as an expectation, it’s just OUR experience and what I did, hopefully it can give you some ideas too!
And know that, despite her adapting perfectly to him, I still think her wild age is way more challenging than the newborn stage, but that’s a post for another day!