My mom philosophy is “life doesn’t stop when you have kids” I do exactly everything I used to do before, just differently.... with Sofia! But if a special occasion shows up, like a big wedding where we cant bring her, we have to keep the same mentality: adapt and learn how to go without her.
We don't have family in town but the couple weekends my mom and dad have visited, they have separately watched Sofia and it was fine, even if she had just met them. But she was younger. Other than that she has only stayed with me or my husband, and never for over 2h with anyone but me.
7 months is a rough age too, they are old enough to understand that mom leaves (separation anxiety hits) and too little to understand you are coming back. Plus, we had to be at the wedding from 12 to 10 in Malibu... not a short day!
I decided to hire my friend Raquel who is a part time nanny with over 20 years of experience, also from Spain living in LA, and she has babysat all of my friends babies: #1 tip is hiring someone you really trust, because this alone made me feel SO GOOD.
So I did a test run the day prior for just a couple hours... and it went terribly. She wouldn’t stop crying. Raquel had told me to sneak out, so I did that. But she didn’t know her, and it was too drastic. So on wedding day, I decided to do things differently, and it worked out PERFECTLY. Live and learn, right? Sharing what I did:
1. I had Raquel come 3h before I left and we did normal day to day life together the three of us. We all went to get my hair done, then we had lunch, then we went home and fed Sofia together, and I got ready. All of this just us three girls, spending quality time!
2. I made sure Raquel fed Sofia and gave her water in front of me (casually around pretending not to pay attention) letting Sofia see me so she felt comfortable.
3. My husband was a groomsman so he couldn’t be late. But that also meant he had to be there 3h before the wedding ceremony even started to help the groom get ready and take group photos - no reason for me to go with him and wait alone. So I left way later, which gave me time to do point 1 & 2!
4. I left everything ready and told her what to do with Sofia at each hour, based on her schedule and patterns, and she did everything amazing on the dot.
5. I gave them a list of activities & times so there was something to do, rather than just sit around.
6. The test run the day prior was major to change things and prep well!
I got home and she was sleeping happily. I feel like she needed to open up to her. The first day was too drastic and new.
Of course, if your baby is younger the first time with a nanny can be totally different and easier, as before 5/6 months they don't really understand mom leaving. So if you start younger and can have the nanny come regularly, when the separation anxiety begins they will be fine (or easier!).
Personally, I will continue to leave her with Raquel only on special occasions, but I am def more prepared for next time now. The more we do it, the better we will get at it, don’t be scared to try new things!!
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