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How To Keep Connecting with your Partner through the first intense Parenting Years

It's so easy for the parent relationship to take a backseat once you have little kids.

Suddenly, your babies and little ones are your main priority, they require majority of your time, you are left exhausted during your free time, and the parent relationship that used to be pretty much one of the main focuses of life pre-kids, becomes one of the last.

I do think it's normal that our priorities shift and that our relationship attention stops being as intense, knowing that as the kids grow, you'll come back to have more time alone together.

But we also have to be aware of neglecting it completely through these years because that's when we can distance ourselves, disconnect from who we are as a couple, and essentially, grow apart.

We just learn as we go and do our best, but here are the top things that have helped us through these last 5 years:

  • Prioritize alone time even if it's at home after bed time. Actually talking about the future, goals, to keep growing together with a plan & excitement.

  • Listen to their needs, and express my needs too.

  • Share responsibilities equally, so there's no resentment. And divide chores upfront so there's no fights.

  • Doing things we love as a family like traveling to connect at a different level with no home chores or stresses around.

  • Look for external help when possible & needed.

  • Dates every now and then.

  • Provide words & acts of appreciation for the small daily things. Feeling unappreciated by the partner also makes you not crave connection.

  • Understand that both can do things slightly different, and both be right & have the same goal and intentions. You are on the same team.

  • Do little simple things. Like notes, getting a cup of coffee, saying thank you for the everyday acts, making a favorite meal, a foot rub...

  • Remembering it's a season, it's temporary, more & better quality time will come.

Has this been challenging for you too?


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