It's no secret that when you have kids, you suddenly have much less time for your partner.
By the time the kids go down to bed, you probably feel exhausted and just want to disconnect from it ALL. Scheduling quality time for each other becomes a chore. And little home arguments may be more frequent. I get it. We all get it.
Here's the thing, the parent dynamics will never be exactly like pre kids. So above all, we need to start setting realistic expectations. Busier days. More tired end of days. Less alone time.
But it does not need to be a bad relationship nor draining. The relationship will simply be evolving and going through a different stage. And you both need to be committed to making it the best you can within the chaos, and not losing each other along the way. With communication and more action.
We also need to keep in mind that no couple is the same. One of the tips people used to give me when I was expecting Sofia was to "schedule weekly date nights" as a nonnegotiable, and as much as I can understand how important it is to some, for others like us right NOW, that is unrealistic and far away from what we even WANT.
So, remember that you CAN find quality time doing things you actually crave once the kids go to bed, like relaxing together or talking about future goals and dreams, which create excitement for the future together.
Then know that being happy comes from WITHIN. If you are drained, exhausted and unmotivated & don't have a good relationship with YOURSELF, then there is no way you will be able to have a good one with your partner. So independent time to fill up your OWN cup, is just as important.
And last but not least, never forget who you were pre kids. Do activities that made you bond, keep connecting, enjoy the simple things as a family, be silly, playful, youthful. Don't forget to have fun and see life through your kid's eyes to remember your bond and purpose: to raise those minis with good energy!
If nothing is working out, or you feel like you have deeper problems and issues, please ask for proper help 🤍
What's your biggest challenge in your relationship after kids? What helps you most?