Overall, it’s been about making Sofia feel helpful, involved & like a big sister, proud in her new role, since my pregnancy.
But since you asked & said it was helpful, here’s exactly what I say.
1. When I am holding Beckham and she asks me to do something with her, I tell B “I have to play with your sister now okay? Sofia needs mommy time too” and place him in the swing.
2. As soon as he cries & interrupts our time, I tell Sofía “oh no B is crying, come on I need your help” and make her inclusive instead of leaving her behind.
3. When we ride in the car and they are both behind together, I ask Sofia “is Beckham okay?” So she feels like she is taking care of him. And when he cries I tell Beckham “don’t worry B, Sofia is there with you, you are not alone” she loves it!
4. When she eats, I tell B in front of her “no Beckham you can’t have Sofias yummy food, she is a big girl, you have milk only, sorry” this way we get Sofia to not be jealous of the nursing, and to eat her food proudly.
5. When Beckham is crying in the house I tell him not to worry that Sofia and I are here to help, that we love him. Never speaking about myself, always including Sofia too.
6. When Sofia and I are playing while I’m holding Beckham, I always tell B “look at your sister, she is teaching you how to play so when you are older you’ll be able to play with us too!” This way Sofia knows eventually he will join our games gets excited to play w him soon instead of jealous of him joining, and also loves that he’s there w us as she shows him how to do things
7. I always remind her “good job Sofia you are a great big sister you are such a big girl, we are so lucky to have you and Beckham to learn from you” and it makes her want to help all the time!
8. When I catch myself saying “aw you are the cutest baby” then I tell Sofia “and you are the cutest big girl” always pay attention to what i say and balance it.
At least this is what works for her personality & her age. I hope it gives you some ideas to try in your home. Let me know if you try!
And read this post on how I get quality one-on-one time with Sofia!