It’s obvious that my quality one-on-one time with Sofia is less than it was before Beckham arrived, when I used for be with her, alone, 24/7.
I now have to put effort behind squeezing in the time to do an activity alone with her.
But what I’ve realized is that QUALITY & FREQUENCY count over quantity.
The more of those random little windows of times where I am completely devoting my attention to her, the less she asks for my attention, the more independent she plays, and the happier she is that Beckham is around!
Here’s another set of things I do to make sure this happens.
1. When Beckham is calm for little windows of time, I place him in the play mat / swing and focus on Sofia, we play developmental games, color, draw, dance... whatever she wants until B fusses.
2. Quality time can also be with her brother, especially now that he is a baby and can just be in my arms or carrier. I just make sure she sees I’m paying my prime attention to her.
3. I also love to do one-on-one time with Sofia doing things that actually have to be done, like taking a bath together, having her help me cook, tidying up... she’s at an age where she wants to help and she is so happy to do so.
4. When we hang out as a family of 4, daddy naturally tends to focus on Sofia, so I make sure to acknowledge that and ask him to hold Beckham a little bit so I can be with Sofia too: we walk together holding hands instead of me pushing the stroller, or simply sit with her to eat an ice cream alone while daddy takes a stroll with B!
5. In 6 months since daddy took over the night routine, she has only ONCE asked me to do it instead of him. I didn’t decline. She needed a mommy fix that day. It was a magical and the next day she was happy to go back w daddy. Not rejecting her is key too.
She really understands that I need to divide my time now, but I can tell in her expressions & gestures how much she appreciates my shift in focus and the time alone I give her through the day.
It’s truly the simple things that matter most to them, keep it in mind!
Read this post on exactly what I tell Sofia to minimize / avoid jealousy!