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My Negotiables: What I Gave Up When I Became A Mom

I talked about my non negotiables. Those things that I had to prioritize in my day to day (along my #1: being a mom) to be able to keep my identity through the devoted first years of motherhood.

Then you asked "So what did you give up? What was negotiable?”

A wonderful question for great perspective to discuss.

❌ I gave up the freedom of choosing what to do, when to do it and how long to do it for. Before, I had no restrictions other than my own. Now, I do everything around kids schedules with limited windows.

❌ I also gave up kid-free dates. With my husband, and my friends. I still see friends, but with kids, so we do other activities or play dates. And I spend alone time with husband once they go to bed, at home.

❌ I gave up kid-free traveling which means it is more work. But we still travel plenty, my most fav memories.

❌ I gave up "going out" completely, adult birthdays and events, after kids, those got minimized to maybe 2 a year, if any.

❌ I gave up getting done up & washing my hair every day. This doesn't mean that I don't look presentable, but "getting ready" is much different now. But I wear what suits my current lifestyle!

❌ I gave up sleeping through the night and choosing my wake-up time.

❌ I gave up friends. I continued to see them plenty, but some didn’t want to meet my new lifestyle w kids. So I became closer / made new friends with those with kids.

You may think some of the above are given. But they aren’t.

Some moms may have weekly dates, social adult life, sleep or traveling alone as a non nonnegotiables. So they get family help, a nanny, or a sleep trainer. And they may give up some of MY non negotiables like running a business or going to the gym because “they cant”. They can, they just have other priorities!

And it’s ok. We all make choices that best suit our needs, our passions, our fire, our families. And life priorities keep changing through each stage.

And sooner than we think, our kids will be old and we will be able to add more non negotiable to our days 🤍 So enjoy them as much as you can, while being the best version of yourself with your non negotiables!

What was negotiable? What did you give up?


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